Very very picky about very small things
Oh shit. Ohshitohshitohshit. I can't find my nail-clippers.
No. NO. You don't understand. This is serious. I've looked everywhere, and I can't find the fucking thing. I did find a ruler, and I was able to confirm that my fingernails are, rightnowaswespeak, over 1/16 of an inch long. That's right, fucking Howard Hughes length. I am twigging. If Jedno and I were both still in the CZ, I would so totally be saddling up for the five hour trip to her place so I could use her clippers. She saw ample evidence during our travels of my complete inability to deal with this kind of thing.
I can practically feel them growing.
That's it. I can't take this. I'm going home, back to the ancestral seat of the Mylastnames, where the ratio of fingernail clippers to people is upwards of five to one, like a decent Christian household. What, you mean your family doesn't sit around the room twitching and obsessing about fingernail length?
Plus, they're having bratwurst tonight, and apparently my dad just went on a particularly egregious run to the fancy-ass beer store. That alone is worth a trip. Even if my fingernails weren't threatening to grow right the fuck through my palms.
So I'll, ah, be hitting the road now.
No. NO. You don't understand. This is serious. I've looked everywhere, and I can't find the fucking thing. I did find a ruler, and I was able to confirm that my fingernails are, rightnowaswespeak, over 1/16 of an inch long. That's right, fucking Howard Hughes length. I am twigging. If Jedno and I were both still in the CZ, I would so totally be saddling up for the five hour trip to her place so I could use her clippers. She saw ample evidence during our travels of my complete inability to deal with this kind of thing.
I can practically feel them growing.
That's it. I can't take this. I'm going home, back to the ancestral seat of the Mylastnames, where the ratio of fingernail clippers to people is upwards of five to one, like a decent Christian household. What, you mean your family doesn't sit around the room twitching and obsessing about fingernail length?
Plus, they're having bratwurst tonight, and apparently my dad just went on a particularly egregious run to the fancy-ass beer store. That alone is worth a trip. Even if my fingernails weren't threatening to grow right the fuck through my palms.
So I'll, ah, be hitting the road now.
posted by ridley at 9/04/2005 01:28:00 PM
4 Comments:
Instead of being obsessed with fingernail length, I have an irrational fear of hang-nails, but it amounts to the same thing--compulsive hoarding of nailclippers. I was unpacking the last of my suitcases last night (!), and I discovered that I brought FIVE nailclippers back to school with me. (Most of these, of course, were nicked from my parents.) Is there counseling for this?
--Catherine
It's okay! By the time you are in your 50's you'll find plenty to obsess with besides fingernail clippers. Like, where are my kids, who are they with, why aren't they home yet? So, take heart!
Where ARE my clippers? I have a pair in every room and every bag, this darn nail is driving me CRAZY,aaagggg!!!
Okay, so it doesn't stop, but at least you're not alone. Kitty 0_o
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