Stereotyping the people I love

I got Chinese takeout last night, with the pretend money on my credit card. They included three fortune cookies, which highlights another thing I can take comfort in about being back in the US, i.e. yummy Chinese food. You can get get Chinese food in the Czech Republic, yeah, but (a) it kind of surks, and (b) there ain't no fortune cookies. Which is too bad, because I'd love to see what Czechs would consider appropriate fortunes. "Your life sucks. But at least you're not a Gypsy." "Even when it's not raining outside, it's still raining in your soul." "No one loves you. If they say they do, they must be stupid. Or evil. Or both." And in Liberec: "There's only three kinds of weather in this town: rainy, windy, and uphill."

(Heh. That one's an actual saying from the Liberec, where it is indeed mighty hilly.)

Man, this is fun. Now I'm imagining Slovak fortunes: "Your life sucks. But at least you're not Czech." "Unhappy? Don't blame us, it's the Czechs' fault."

Hungarian: "You speak Russian in here and we will cut you."

German: "You might speak German. But you'll never be German. And don't eat with your fingers, you barbarian."

Russian: "How the fuck did you get in here? Vlad, increase the visa requirements!"

I can't think of one for Poland, though. Well, I can think of ones that the Czechs would make for the Poles: "Oh yes! I am Paweł! I am optimist, because I do not understand reality of situation!" But, uh, the Czechs have a little tendency to be hatas. Which is probably why I love them so much.