If you can't say anything catty, get the fuck off the smoker's patio

A conversation from two years ago.

"So I see Blah and Blah finally hooked up."
"What's that, like the eighth person he's gone out with this year?"
"Something like that...she's just another notch on the bedpost."
"Heh. More like another notch on the dashboard."
"Another notch on the brushpile."
"Another notch on Mr. Kelly's desk."

[....]

"Yeah...can't top that one."